Oh guacamole. There are so very many recipes floating around out there, classic, with tomatoes/without, smooth, creamy….ones with all kinds of extra things added….It is mind boggling. I used to work for a giant evil corporation that peddles in natural foods, and during my time there i literally made hundred of pounds of guacamole a week. HUNDREDS. Everyone wanted to make guac like i did, customers wanted to know who made the guac….I’ll share some of my secrets here with you (but, this recipe is nothing like what i made while suffering through being trapped in a cold (42°F), windowless cooler, endlessly scooping avocados.) *shiver* those were dark times indeed. This recipe is structured using amounts per (medium-large haas) avocado, so you can easily scale it to whatever amount you want, each avocado will yield about 1 1/2 – 2 cups worth of guacamole.
Here are our ingredients, and the most important thing here are good avocados. You can’t have good guac without good avocados, they need to be ripe, but not overly ripe, and if you end up with watery ones (as we did here) they will suffice, but the final result will be less flavorful, which makes me sad, but it is what it is. These are all classic staples of the dish, onions, jalapeno, cilantro, tomato (which some people prefer not to use, and i don’t use it every time and almost never when the guac is going on something other than chips), lime juice, salt, garlic. The one thing here that really makes this stand out is the green mex seasoning, i use just enough to bring in some hints of herbal notes and added depth, without overshadowing the avocado. A good guacamole should only use ingredients to highlight the avocado, it is the star here and shouldn’t be playing second fiddle to anything else. Now, a trick i use to get more flavor straight off the bat, finely chop your jalapenos and mash your garlic, then infuse them in the lime juice along with the salt and green mex. This allows some of the heat and flavours from the jalapeno, garlic, and seasoning to be more evenly dispersed in the guacamole, if you have the time, i would even recommend tossing that with your onions and letting them sit at least half an hour, it really will make a difference. Another tip, if you like chunky guac, cube your avocado (as i’ve done here) before scooping it out and then mix more gently without mashing too much.
Here is what the avocado looks like after scooping when you’ve pre-cut it, see those nice big chunks? This is the easiest and most consistent way to get a chunky end product, the chunkier you want it the softer you mix everything.
I’m going to point out a mistake i make ALL THE TIME with things, choosing the wrong size bowl and ending up dirtying extra dishes. It is sad how frequently i do this, and for once, i’m going to say “don’t do this like i do it”, do it better, always pick a larger mixing vessel than you think you need. I mean, don’t go overboard and grab your largest bowl to whip up a cup of pico or something, but remember that you have to have room to MIX things without them flying and tumbling out all over the place. Here’s your chance, be better than me, outsmart me, don’t make things harder on yourself.
Again, for chunky, mix gently! Especially if your avocado is really soft. Using a large spoon or spatula will help as well, definitely don’t use a fork, it will break up your precious chunks very quickly. Conversely, if you prefer a smoother guacamole, you can mash it up in the skins and scoop, scoop out whole and mash before mixing everything together, or if you want it in between, simply use a fork to mix everything and kind of whip it up as you go. Simple, yes? You got this.
Do not mash everything together, especially if you’re using tomatoes!!! This will release more liquid from the vegges and you’ll end up with a watery guacamole with a weird texture. Got it? no mashing while mixing. Again, whip it with a fork instead, this will break down the avocado and leave your vegges intact.
That’s it, you’re done! So easy. It is crazy to spend 5x as much for premade guac when you can make your own (better) in literally less time than it would take you grabbing some off the store shelf and waiting in line. Serve it up with chips, glob it onto your favorite texmex meals, fill a bathtub with it and roll around (okay don’t do that really, it does have chile peppers in it after all)….One last note, you know, the fun twist where i give you some weird, crazy suggestion for it, if you want something just totally flipping delectable, try dusting this with some chaat masala. I kid you not. Chaat masala. This will take your culinary game up several notches with a couple of shakes. It. Is. Incredible.